Screwed.edu
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
