my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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