She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
