I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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