wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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