Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
