i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize