Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
