You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
