Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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