Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
