If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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