the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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