Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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