You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
