Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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