lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
