FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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