I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
