Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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