she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
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Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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