my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
