i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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