we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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