But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
