So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
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It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
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Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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