don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
