I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink