I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i dont even know how to be here
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"