You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
