i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
handjob tips. give me some.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
