No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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