so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
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you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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