Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
