so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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