You can't motorboat a personality
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
