the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
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