I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
