I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
