I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I wish you could order shots online.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
