she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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