five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
