I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
