You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
