doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
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Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
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Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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