the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
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i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
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He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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