Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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