She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
