I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
