Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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