The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I woke up under a house in Key West
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
