I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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