i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
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she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
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it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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